And then Chaos Ensued!

In my house, dinner time means complete and utter chaos! I don't know what it is about this particular time of day, but everyone seems to totally lose their minds around 5:00 P.M. Let's take tonight for instance... I was cooking dinner, in my usual stance, at the counter, giant knife in hand. Whenever I'm at the cutting board, my kids get the brilliant idea to wrestle on the kitchen floor, usually right by my feet. So of course I shout,

"Ah, giant knife in hand, please wrestle somewhere else!"
No response. I repeat...
"Guys, don't you see I have a knife in my hand, this is not the place for wrestling!"
Still nothing. So I banish them to the living room.

My husband attempts to give me a few moments of sanity, by wrestling with the kids in the living room, so I can get dinner finished.

Meanwhile, I have couscous cooking on one burner, ground turkey browning on another, and peppers roasting in a 400 degree oven. A song comes on the radio that reminds my husband of something funny he wanted to show me. I have to rely on him to keep me abreast of mainstream things like YouTube, since most of the time I reside in my own little world.
"Honey, check out this video on my IPAD!"
"Wow, cool. That dude from Radiohead is quite the dancer! Watch out, I need to stir this."
"Wait, now check out this video on YouTube. It's the Thom Yorke (Radiohead) video, but Beyonce's song, "All the Single Ladies", is playing in the background!"
"Ha ha, that's awesome. Okay watch out again, something's burning."

Enter kids... All of us are now surrounding the stove...

"Hey Daddy, what's that?"
"Oh, it's this video..."

Now I interject, as one of the kids leans in and is about to rest their hand on the burning-hot stove...

"EVERYBODY AWAY FROM THE STOVE!"

The kids scatter. Then I hear the jumping...

"Guys, please stop jumping on the couch."
No response.
"Guys, no jumping on the couch!"
Silence... except for the squeaking of their little feet on the sofa. I'm now about to lose it.

"THAT'S IT! IF ANYONE NEEDS TO GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM, YOU'RE WALKING!"

They're still jumping, but at least my husband's laughing. He finds it thoroughly amusing when I become crazy, banshee mom!

My daughter now decides that she is absolutely starving and can't possibly wait 15 more minutes to eat. I'm still in crazy banshee mode, so I can't honor her request. Daddy, however, steps in and makes his famous egg salad.

Since our son would sooner eat an umbrella than a stuffed pepper, we ask what he wants to eat. He replies, "Pancakes."

I say, "Fine", but I'm making them my way! I stroll over to my handy, dandy Cuisinart and mix up oats, cashews, almonds, pumpkin seeds, and flax. I add one cup of my mystery mixture, with one cup flour, 2 eggs, and some goat's milk. I've never used goat's milk before, but the kid's half Greek for goodness sakes, he can handle it!

We finally sit down to eat. Well, my husband, son, and I sit down. Since our daughter already ate, she's busy tending to her "lemonade stand" in the living room. Every few seconds she comes in to deliver lemonade from a piece of cardboard. I still don't know if we were supposed to drink from the cardboard, or if the cardboard was a tray. All I know, is that every other bite was interrupted by an imaginary lemonade sip.

My son is enjoying the first few bites of his awesome pancake, but then becomes overwhelmed by an ever-so-slightly-too-large bite. He then runs from the table, into the bathroom, saying that this bite might make him throw up! Well, needless to say, that was it for pancakes!

My husband and I simultaneously throw our hands up in the air, banish both kids from the room (again!), and resume our meal. Indigestion anyone?