Magical Moments

One of the best things about having little kids is the sense of wonder that surrounds them. My kids are both at an age where they still believe in Santa, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny. My husband and I encourage their imaginations as much as possible, because we know that this time is all too fleeting. In fact, the doubts have already started creeping into my son's head. When my Dad asked him what he wanted the Easter Bunny to bring him, my son followed up his response with, "If there really is an Easter Bunny." I grabbed my husband and told him what I had just overheard, we both felt a quick stab to the heart knowing that reality is starting to win out over imagination.

Some people don't buy into the whole Santa thing or Easter Bunny charade, but I don't understand why. Do they think it is pointless or deceitful to play along? I clearly remember the let-down I experienced after coming to the conclusion that these figures were not "real" in the sense that I imagined, but I also recall the intense joy I felt from believing in something spectacular! Yes, it was disappointing to learn that Santa didn't actually come down our chimney (especially since we didn't have one!), but I also had the experience of hours of day-dreaming with my sister about all the wonders of the North Pole. The excitement we experienced before Holidays was indescribable. We were certain that we had heard sleigh bells, or footsteps, or even the hopping of bunny feet! Those early years were absolutely magical!

One year the Easter Bunny left me a note; I can still recall the incredible awe of that moment. I remember thinking, "Wow, the Easter Bunny left me a note, this is one of the coolest things that has EVER happened, I must be a pretty special kid!" There was even a picture of the Easter Bunny on the note, which I found amazing, because I always wondered what he looked like. I recall playing detective about how he must have jumped onto the counter, and where he found the pen, and how he knew how to spell my name. For a kid, this is more important than any adult can imagine. My Mom probably had no idea that this little note would mean so much to me, but it did, because it meant that magic was real.

It's hard to set your kids up for disappointment. I think some parents discourage make-believe, because they don't want their kids to be crushed or disillusioned when doubt emerges, but it doesn't have to be this way. In second grade, I asked my Mom directly if Santa existed. She explained to me that Santa didn't actually bring gifts, but that the spirit of Christmas was magical and real and that it lived in my heart. Around the same time, I realized that the Easter Bunny hadn't written that special note, but that realization came with a silver lining too. I saw how much my Mom loved me. My parents were willing to stay up late writing silly notes and sneaking around with gifts, just so that we could believe in something wonderful. As an adult, this is the memory that I hold in my heart.

My husband and I are now passing on this gift to our kids. Last night, we were the ones tip-toeing about hiding eggs and filling Easter baskets. My husband even got up at 5:00 A.M. to hide more eggs around our yard before the kids woke up. We're both giddy with anticipation when we hear their little feet on the stairs.  The experience is even more exciting when I allow myself to step into their shoes. When I do this, I realize that they are living the magic in its purest form. They believe in something that doesn't make sense, because so far, no one has told them not to.

I may no longer wait up for sleigh bells, but I continue to believe in the unbelievable. As a child, I was given the freedom to dream and the space for faith; this continues to serve me with each passing year.Some of us think that we should outgrow the fairy tales, but often we need them even more as we age. Teaching your kids to believe in what they can't see, gives them the opportunity to open their hearts and their minds to endless possibilities. When we can accept that there is more to this world than meets the eye, we can embark on the path to true wisdom. My mantra... trust, have faith, believe!

Zero to Sixty

The world is clearly divided amongst two groups of people... morning people, and not morning people. I fall solidly into the latter category; this has proven to be problematic for me as a parent. Especially, since my 4-year-old daughter has yet to sleep through the night. She goes to bed fine, but inevitably wakes up several times throughout the night. I don't think that she has EVER gone to bed at 7:00 P.M. and slept through until 6:00 A.M. Obviously, when she wakes up, she finds it necessary to wake me up and usually her Daddy too. To add insult to injury, she is also a morning person! During the early years, our son was not a great sleeper either, so we're going on almost 7 years of sleep deprivation. And it's starting to add up!

Generally, my daughter opens her eyes and immediately hits the ground running! There is no easing into the day, no gentle transition from sleepiness to wakefulness; upon waking my daughter zooms from zero to sixty and expects everyone else to do the same. Usually it goes something like this... She sits up and immediately starts a conversation. Often there is a lot of poking involved and usually the shades are being opened and occasionally the lights get turned on. Once she's gotten my attention, she runs down a long list of demands, usually involving breakfast and cartoons. My daughter is awesome and adorable, but none of this amuses me!

I need to gradually approach the day. I need to lie in bed and ponder getting up, before any real action is taken. This has been my approach for most of my life. I remember my Mom repeatedly coming into my room to wake me up for high school. I would regularly bargain for 30 more seconds! It sounds completely ridiculous, but if I need an extra 30 seconds, I need an extra 30 seconds! I tell my kids this, but they just don't get it! Most mornings I feel like that familiar teenager begging for more sleep. I get ornery, obstinate, and completely irrational, but this is why my sleep must be protected.

My son, like me, is not a morning person; thank goodness! However, he does wake up grouchy and ravenous! The grouchiness I can handle, but the intense hunger requires immediate action from me. The hardest part is that I know he's starving in the morning, because he's such a poor eater for most of the day. Breakfast is the only meal he consistently eats, so I feel obligated to fill the hole in his stomach sooner rather than later. I do my best to get a few extra minutes, but it's challenging to actually sleep when you have someone screaming from the next room about how they can't go on another moment without sustenance!

My husband, bless his heart, wakes up just like my daughter. He's chatty and raring to go! Unfortunately, he leaves for work, just moments before my daughter wakes up. On the occasional morning that he doesn't have to work, they are a perfect team! They have conversations in full swing from the get-go, music playing, errands to run; it's crazy! On these mornings, I lay in bed with two emotions. The first is an intense gratitude that he is giving her everything she needs and having a marvelous time in the process. The second emotion is complete and utter confusion that anyone actually wakes up with that much vim and vinegar!

Morning people... what a mystery!

Praying to the Porcelain god... again!

Why does it always happen at night?! Dealing with a vomiting child is horrible no matter how you slice it, but being forced to handle such a situation while you’re fumbling around in the dark, bleary-eyed, with only a handful of brain cells firing makes it infinitely worse! Last night, our daughter climbed into bed, as usual, sometime around midnight. Within a few minutes, the restlessness started. This is not the normal tossing and turning that happens during a comfortable sleep, no, this is the type of restlessness that puts all my senses on high-alert. I was especially sensitive to my daughter’s agitation, because I was also doing a great deal of tossing and turning. On my other side, I felt my husband rolling back and forth more than usual. All I could think was, “Somebody’s gonna be puking tonight!” 

Eventually my daughter asked to go up to her bed, she seemed to sense that something was amiss  and wanted to spare our bed from what was to come, what a sweet kid! I cuddled into bed with her, hoping that she would settle down, but soon enough she said those dreaded words, “Mommy my tummy hurts.”  It’s now official, “Game on!”

We both sat up just in time for her to vomit all over her bed, herself, and the floor. Amazingly, I managed to stay out of the line of fire. Puke-mode goes into effect immediately; strip the beds, change the pj’s, throw in a load of laundry, and find some new bedding. Then attempt to lay down again, knowing that your attempts are futile.

She threw up two more times after that, along with about ten false alarms. But I have to say, she really impressed me. By the second bout of vomiting, she had turned into a champion! Every time she felt the urge, she would march her little bottom into the bathroom and assume her position next to the toilet. Sometimes she would hold onto the edges and simply lean over. Then she experimented with kneeling on the floor while embracing the thrown. A couple times she even made herself comfortable by resting her forehead on the bowl. She was incredibly stoic about the whole thing; there was no crying or whimpering, she simply stayed focused on the task at hand without partaking in any unnecessary fanfare. I can tell you that she absolutely does not get this from me!

For me, throwing up requires tons of fanfare! As a kid, I needed a support staff, an audience, and some serious talk-therapy every time I threw up. My sister always seemed to fill this enviable role nicely. My Mom usually had her hands full managing the mess and laundry in preparation for the next bout of excitement. So if she was unavailable, I would call my sister into the bathroom. I didn’t get intestinal bugs often, but when I did, I made the most of them! Needless to say, my sister was being called in for moral support numerous times in short succession. Every time she heard my pitiful cries, she would hurry in and hang out next to me, inevitably thinking, “Why does she need me here every single time?!” But being the awesome big sister that she is, she never complained to my face. Or maybe she did, but I was too busy to notice.

So the moral of the story is this… if you’re going to puke, take a note from my daughter. Don’t work yourself up, don’t be squeamish, just march up to that bowl, hang on tight, and get down to business! Prolonging the inevitable doesn’t make the experience any more pleasant. If you’re anything like my little warrior, you may even find yourself asking to go to the ice-cream shop the next morning.  In this case, follow my lead, and resist the temptation.

Broaden Your Horizons

I took this picture last year in Melbourne, Australia. The purpose of the trip was to be the matron of honor in one of my dearest friend's wedding. When she first asked me to play this role, my initial response was, "Absolutely not!" I wanted to stand by her side, but I didn't want to travel across the world to do it! I don't particularly like flying and I definitely don't like being in a plane for over 20 hours! My biggest fear, however, was being away from my children. I couldn't bare the thought that something might happen to them while I was away, or that something would happen to me and I wouldn't make it home.

I agonized over the decision for months, even after the ticket was purchased, I wondered if I would actually have the guts to get on the plane. My husband urged me along and convinced me that I needed this trip. Every time I fell into doubt, he would point out my irrational fears and basically tell me to, "suck it up!" I fought him every step of the way, but it turns out, he was completely right. I did need this trip.

It was a huge personal triumph for me to travel so far away and move completely out of my comfort zone. It was also incredibly fulfilling to stand next to one of my oldest friends, surrounded by her sisters, and watch her so calmly make the most important vows of her life. Having the opportunity to make a speech on her behalf was a great gift for me. It was even more moving to hear her speech, when she thanked my husband and kids for temporarily parting with me, so I could share this moment with her.

Being away forced me to let go of control and trust in something greater. It also gave me the opportunity to reconnect with friends that I have been somewhat removed from since becoming a mother. When I came home, I started looking at myself as a whole person, with a variety of important roles to play. When you become a mother, it's so easy to be completely consumed by that one role, because the demands and emotions are so intense. But I realized, that I have much more to offer my kids when I allow myself to continue growing as an individual. So while I don't see myself jumping on the next plane to Zimbabwe, I do see myself seizing the day as much as possible!

Bittersweet Birthdays

Today my little girl turned four. The pictures in this post were taken the day after she was born; I can barely believe that four years have already passed. I find birthdays to be very bittersweet. On one hand, it's amazing to see your children grow a year older. It's inspiring to see how their bodies, minds, and spirits evolve with each passing year. Watching their personalities deepen is an awesome experience to behold.

That being said, it's still difficult to watch them move further and further away from the birth stage. This period is so significant, because a newborn has yet to be exposed to the outside world. There is a sense of wonder and purity that surrounds a new life; a deep knowing that anything is possible! None of us can grow in a bubble, but these protected early moments with our children are precious beyond words. I gave birth to my daughter at my Mom's house, on a lake, with an amazing midwife. She entered the world in the most peaceful way I could have imagined. I feel like we were given a great gift to have had such an experience. During that brief time, everything was perfect in our world. I knew that blissful period couldn't last, but I can't help but feel nostalgic about it now and again.

Despite my moments of melancholy, I wouldn't turn back the clock. Today my daughter is a vibrant fire-cracker, with an intense zest for life! She has a very diverse vocabulary, full of colorful phrases. Through my son's Kindergarten stories, she has learned all about Justin Bieber! Thankfully, she doesn't quite get the reference, because she calls him Justin "Beaver" and she thinks he's just another kid in her brother's class. When she heard her cousin talking about Justin Bieber, she said, " Ha, that's so funny! There's two Justin "Beavers"; he's in Anna's class too!"

So, she may not be my sweet newborn anymore, but she is my sweet and hilarious little girl. I may never understand the Justin Bieber obsession, but I am becoming quite fond of Justin "Beaver"!

Justin "Beaver"

Thing 1 & Thing 2

 

Same parents, same house
But completely unique
Thing 2 loves her school
Thing 1 complains through the week

Thing 1 likes his quiet

Thing 2 likes to shout
Thing 1 ponders intensely
Thing 2 wanders about

Thing 1 proceeds with caution
Thing 2 shows no restraint
Thing 1 reaches for your hand
While, Thing 2 reaches for wet paint!

Thing 1 respects order
Thing 2 makes a mess
Thing 1 nibbles slowly
Thing 2 spills all over her dress

Thing 1 thinks before speaking
Thing 2 rarely comes up for air
Thing 1 observes from the sidelines
Thing 2 dances without care

Thing 1 turns up his nose
New food makes him scream
Thing 2 orders chimichangas
With extra sour cream

Thing 1 sees the glass empty
Thing 2's cup is full
Thing 1 needs a gentle push
And Thing 2 requires a strong pull

Thing 2 adores her Mom

Thing 1 idolizes his Dad
We cherish their differences

Neither one is half-bad

It's easy to think that they can be molded like clay

But they are, who they are, from the very first day!