Excuse me, While I Crawl Under this Rock

Every few days, my daughter manages to say something that leaves me searching for cover. She doesn't mean to be rude or insensitive; she just happens to be very curious and inquisitive. This curiosity often leads to questions, asked loudly, almost always in public. Her points of interest usually involve people's physical appearance. Being the extrovert that she is, she tends to think out loud, rather than in her head. Needless to say, her thoughts are mildly filtered at best.

A few months ago, she decided to start questioning me at the library counter. She asks, "Mommy, why is her (the librarian's) belly so big?" Obviously, I ignore the question; hoping, desperately that the librarian won't understand her 3-year-old speech. My daughter never allows herself to be ignored, so she continues to ask the question, louder and LOUDER each time! The librarian finally says, "I don't have a big belly, don't say that." Clearly, she was offended. Needless to say, we don't take books out on Tuesday anymore!

This embarrassing incident is slightly my fault, because I rave about my daughter's round belly on a daily basis!  I love her belly! She loves her belly! So I know she wasn't being mean to the librarian, she was simply interested in why her belly was round too. But how do you explain tact to a 3-year-old? Answer... you don't!

Today she asked one of her favorite public questions, "Mommy is that a boy or a girl?" She loves this question; it pops up regularly, especially when she sees a woman with short hair.When this happens, I quickly pull her away, hoping that the victim didn't hear the question. Today, however, she asked the question about the woman following us into the public bathroom.

This woman did not have short hair, but she was wearing a uniform and had a deep-ish voice. So, my daughter asks the question, and I quickly herd her into the handicapped stall, so we have more room to maneuver. Of course, the man-ish woman, goes into the stall next to us. The next few minutes proceed like this...

"Mom, I said... is that a boy or a girl?"

In hushed tones, "Honey, don't ask that. It might hurt her feelings! It's a girl!"

In louder tones, hoping to cover up the sound of my daughter's voice, " Come on sweetie, you need to pee, let's go pee!"

"No, Mommy, THAT'S A BOY! Is that a boy or a girl?"

In hushed, angry tones, "Honey, I told you to be quiet! Don't ask again! It's a girl!"

Once again louder and desperately attempting to change the subject, "So, did you have fun today? Are you excited about school tomorrow?"

No dice

"Mommy, IS THAT A BOY OR A GIRL!"

Now, covering her mouth.

"Mommy!" (in muffled tones)

Pushing my hand away

"I SAID..."

Hand covers her mouth again, thinking to myself, "I can't believe I'm holding my palm over my daughter's face; this is definitely not the best way to handle the situation!"

I hear the woman come out of the stall, and another woman starts asking her questions. This other woman has a walker and is waiting for the handicap stall. I can't bring myself to exit the stall until I know the boy/girl has left the bathroom. I feel very guilty for making the woman with the walker wait, so I opt not to use the bathroom myself. I'll just hold it, it's okay.

Once the coast is clear, we exit the stall. I apologize to the woman with the walker, quickly wash hands, run out the door, and don't look back. Where is that darn rock when you need it?!