Today was a balmy 60 degrees. It's been such a nice change, after all of the frigid, snowy weather we've had. It is a bit strange, though, to be walking through giant snow piles without a coat or gloves. Anyway, strange or not, I decide to take a walk in the woods. On the way out of the door my daughter says, "Can I come? Can I come?" She was so excited that I couldn't possibly say "no".
As soon as we arrived, she became a fireball of energy, even more so than usual. She was wearing her trusty goggles and big old snow boots, and was totally ready to go! For some ridiculous reason, I thought that the snow would have been a bit more melted than it actually was. In fact, we had to climb through a 3-foot high snow bank just to get to the path, which was completely hidden by about 2 feet of snow. Still I thought, maybe in will be better once we get further into the woods. Once again, I must admit that I'm from New Jersey. My expeditions in the woods have been few and far between, so I'm not fully skilled in wilderness preparedness.
From this point on, it was basically a comedy of errors. Literally, with every other step we sank down about a foot into the snow. Even my little pipsqueak couldn't take a step without sinking; it seemed that the snow had melted just enough to make it impossible to walk on. It's no joke pulling yourself out of the snow repeatedly; it's exhausting! I realized very quickly that snow shoes were definitely in order, but of course I didn't have those, so we forged ahead in all our ridiculous glory!
Once we were about halfway down the trail, my daughter suggested we turn back. We turned around, but then she quickly changed her mind back to the original plan, so once again we forge ahead! With each step things got more and more comical. My little one found a walking stick, figuring that that would help her navigate the snowy path, but really it just gave her something else to get stuck in the snow. Every few feet she would fall down, readjust her goggles, reclaim her walking stick, and awkwardly get back on her feet. Each time I laughed a bit harder, all the while struggling not to take a nose dive myself.
Finally my daughter decided that we were making very little headway, so we better turn around (again). We stumbled along down the trail, and then she stopped in her tracks... "Mommy, I have to pee!" My response, "Of course you do!"
Obviously, I asked my daughter if she needed to go before leaving the house, but she was way too psyched about our adventure to be bothered with such trivial matters. So, we find a tree. This is one of those moments when you think, "Man, boys have it so much easier!" I struggle to get her into position, but apparently she really did have to go! Inevitably, she winds up peeing all over her pants, snow boots, and... her hand! By now, I'm really laughing, because we're nowhere near the car, she's soaking wet, exhausted, and will definitely be wanting a piggy-back ride... which I will not be giving (she's covered in pee after all! Occasionally mothers actually have a gross-out limit.)
As expected, she asks to be carried, but I'm way ahead of her. I say. "Let's race!"
She says, "On your mark, get set, go!" Then she takes a face-plant in the snow.
Once again, "On your mark, get set, go!" Another face-plant.
Third times a charm, "On your mark, get set, go!" Face-plant, barely missing a pile of dog poop!
Now I realize what a jerk I am, because I'm still cracking up! I scoop her out of the snow and guide her towards the exit. We climb the giant snow bank and practically collapse out of the woods. She can barely walk another step, until she spots a mud puddle. Within seconds she is diving into the dirty water, happy as a clam! She's covered in snow, pee, mud, and a trace of dog poop. This was clearly a successful outing!
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