Most parents have an image in their head of what they hope their children will achieve some day. They believe that these accomplishments are somehow a reflection of their parental expertise. Like, if their child grows up to be a doctor or a lawyer, they've clearly done a great job. If their kid owns a big house and drives a BMW, well, they've obviously excelled in the parenting department.
Personally, I'll feel like I've fulfilled my motherly duties if my kids don't grow up to be giant jerks! In this particular context, a jerk can be described as such…
a : an annoyingly stupid or foolish person
b : an unlikable person; especially : one who is cruel, rude, or small-minded
Now, no one is perfect, right? We all have the occasional jerk-ish moment; when we say the wrong thing, or mindlessly cut someone off, or forget an important date. These blunders are forgivable; we’re all human and are, therefore, prone to stupidity at times. These are not the people I’m referring to. I’m referring to the jackass who regularly slams doors in their fellow man’s face. The guy who always drives in the shoulder to avoid traffic and then quickly cuts back into the lane without signaling. Or the charming individual who lies, cheats, and hurts others without a second thought. These are the jerks!
My kids might whine, they might scream, they might even hit each other at times, but for the most part they’re pretty awesome. I’ve had moments when I’ve been mortified or completely outraged by their behavior, but then I tell them that they’re out of line. I don’t call them little jerks, even if I am thinking it, but it’s my job to set them straight. How else can any of us learn compassion, empathy, and kindness?
So when my daughter runs for a Band-Aid after my husband hits his head, or when my son holds the door for half of the elementary school, I take a moment to appreciate their goodness. If they can continue to embrace these qualities, I will know that I’ve done alright.
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