Look at Me!

It's a defining moment as a parent when you look at your child and realize that they're not you. Some parents realize this fact immediately; they'll hold their tiny infant and swear that he came from another planet. Others are faced with this reality as their child starts to develop her unique personality. And some spend years seeing their kid as a, "chip off the old block", until one day, often during the teen years, they no longer recognize their so-called "mini me".    

Whenever this moment happens in your life, stop and pay attention. Really look at your child and recognize him for who he is. This may be the single most important thing you ever do as a parent. How much better would the world be if every parent really "saw" their child and then recognized, accepted, and loved that person?   

Many parents hope that their offspring will turn out to be just like them, or better yet, an upgraded version that they can live vicariously through. They expect this child to fulfill all the dreams that they failed to achieve. This is a sure-fire way to destroy your child. My advice... don't do it! If you have dreams, get off your butt and make them happen! Let your kid find his own dream and then do everything in your power to support it.   

What a waste of time it is to wish for a football star when you have a ballet dancer! Why force your bookworm to be the "life of the party"? And who really wants to go to a doctor who harbors dreams of being an artist?  

So stop pining over your "dream" child and start embracing your real child. We don't always have to understand our kids, we don't even have to agree with their choices, but we do need to accept their individuality. If we, as parents, can't love them for who they are, then how can we expect them to love themselves. We can't, so save your kids some therapy and a lot of heartache, and just look at them!