When I was a kid, my Mom was too busy for all of that nonsense. Yes, we baked, read, and played with our friends, but it was flexible and spontaneous! Most of the time, my siblings and I simply used our imaginations. We made forts, played with blocks, fought imaginary wars, and played endless tag games with the neighborhood kids. Lately, it feels like we barely have neighborhoods; I know my kids don't have any friends on our block, it sucks!
The point is, we entertained ourselves. No one was breathing down our neck to scrutinize whether or not we surpassed our one hour of allotted television time. We colored and painted, because we wanted to, not because our parents organized "craft time". We weren't bussed around to every extra-curricular activity in town; we were happier to have uninterrupted play time at home. As we got older, we were all involved in various sports, music, theater etc., but it was our choice; we decided how scheduled our days would be.
Today parents are so concerned with doing everything "right" that we wind up robbing our kids of important childhood lessons. A large part of childhood involves getting bored. When you get bored, you get creative. Most kids will find something to do, if you simply give them a chance to figure it out. This is a very important life skill; we all need to learn what drives us, what makes us happy, and where our passions lie. If we get shuttled from activity to activity, day in and day out, we never have an opportunity to just "be". We then grow up having no clue who we are or what we want. We have to rely on other people to fulfill us, because we don’t know how to be comfortable in our own company. It’s frightening to think that we might be raising an entire generation obsessed with external stimulation.
The other morning, I was busy doing my daily tasks in the kitchen. You know… dishes, breakfast, sweeping, that sort of thing. Doing these chores gives me a sense of balance and keeps our household functioning, so I have to allow time for them every day. My kids know that they can't have my undivided attention constantly, so they start getting creative. Within a few minutes, my daughter had moved chairs, stools, and blankets into the center of the room. I swept around them and listened to their conversation. Apparently, they were hiding in some sort of fort and my son had just saved his little sister from the boiling lava. Once they tired of that game, they moved to the living room and started coloring. My daughter was drawing monsters, which are her big brother's favorite thing! And my son was drawing a giant red heart for his sister. Pretty heart-warming stuff!
Later that day, we went for a walk in the snow around our favorite orchard. My son marveled at the animal tracks and my daughter happily forged ahead with a giant stick. Once we got to the end of our walk, I just let them do their own thing. My daughter found a bunch of sticks, piled them on top of each other, and made a "fire". My son found a stick and drew monsters and gravestones in the snow. That may sound a little morbid to some of you, but it's very normal in our household. At the age of two, he found a decorative skeleton for his Halloween-themed party, and wound up carrying it around the whole day. He's basically had a penchant for the macabre every since.
In a nutshell, they had fun! And I had fun, because I wasn't struggling to plan every moment of their day. The fact is, we all need space to breathe, so lay off the mommy-guilt! You're doing your kids a favor by letting them figure a few things out by themselves. You'll also be doing yourself a favor, because you need that time just as much as they do. My uncle told me once to, "Leave some room in your day for serendipity.". This, I believe, is a piece of advice worth taking.
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