Never a Dull Moment

I'm just going to come right out and say it... "My kids are weird!" It's hard to say who is the weirder of the two; I think it depends on the day. But it's probably fair to say that my daughter is outwardly odder, due to the fact that she likes to wear her creativity. This is a photo that was taken before bed. My daughter generally likes to dress like a princess while she sleeps, so she will often put on her pajamas with a skirt or dress on top. This way, she can be "fancy" during bedtime. As you can see, she also has a dome on her head. This is her "space helmet", which happens to be part of a crayola coloring contraption that my sister bought her for Christmas. She always enjoys her gifts, especially when she can find unorthodox ways of playing with them. I think the way her nose smooshes against the plastic really adds a little something special to the look!

I make it a point to support her artistic expression, because it's so clearly a huge part of who she is. It's fascinating to watch her gather bits and pieces of nonsense and turn them into these elaborate creations! Currently, I'm looking at my lamp, which has been beautified by various necklaces and baubles. I am confident that this masterpiece has an intricate story behind it, since she usually narrates during her play. At one point, this lamp was a horse that had been adorned for one reason or another. It's hard to keep up with her complex plot lines.

So whether she's putting on a concert for her stuffed animals, or painting her dolls face, or surreptitiously gathering items from my jewelry box; I will always be intrigued by what she comes up with. Every day with this messy little monster is an adventure, and I’m thoroughly enjoying (almost) every minute of it!

Father of the Year

Some days you just need to find new things for your kids to do. A few months ago, I started printing coloring pages off the computer. Basically, you type in whatever character you're looking for and you can usually find free printables. My kids love this, especially my son. Currently, he's really into Pokemon. I can't believe Pokemon is still around, but apparently these critters are alive and well.

Anyway, my son is quite excited by my new discovery and anxious to dive into his Pokemon project. His enthusiasm, however, is quickly dampened when he realizes that he doesn't know the exact color pallet of this particular Pokemon, named Poliwag. You see, my daughter has a very expressive use of color; she paints cows purple, skies pink, and hair green with reckless abandon! My son, on the other hand, must have every detail realistically perfected.

Needless to say, he is utterly distressed that this particular Pokemon is not in his book. Oh, I should mention, that he always keeps reference materials on hand for these such occasions. Obviously, he needs to refer to his guide books for accuracy sake. Anyway, this guy, not in the book, so chaos ensues! Being the brilliant woman that I am, I hop online to find a color image for him to study. Unfortunately, I can't find a color Poliwag image that matches the black & white image, so the creature's tail becomes difficult to recreate. Complicated stuff, right?

By this time, I've officially given up. This project began in the morning, but has taken so many twists and turns that it is now late afternoon. I throw my hands up and say, "Maybe Daddy can figure something out when he gets home." That's usually my fall back when I'm about to go off the deep end. So, when my husband enters the scene he begins to search for a suitable image, but fails miserably.

We've now joined forces and are making suggestions... "Well, if the tail is a problem, let's just cut it off! Who needs it?!"

This idea is no good, because then the paper would no longer be intact. Our son suggests that we cut off the tail, and then reattach another piece of paper, so it is the correct size. I say, "That's nuts!"

I then suggest that we cut the entire image out, because the rest of the blank page is really superfluous anyway. Let's just say, this opinion is not shared. At this point, I am now expecting my husband to throw up his hands in exasperation too. But no… he has to go and have a stroke of genius!

He takes off to the kitchen and cuts out the figure (my idea, remember?). But then, he takes that image and tapes it to a blank piece of paper, creating the perfect sized background. Clearly, I have been outdone! But wait, he takes this madness another step further... He scans the creation through the printer and gets a flawless coloring page! It looks exactly like my printable page, but without that pesky little tail!

My son beams with joy, my husband beams with pride, and I just shake my head. All I can think is, "Are you kidding me?" Along with a little, "That's my man!"

Look at Me!

It's a defining moment as a parent when you look at your child and realize that they're not you. Some parents realize this fact immediately; they'll hold their tiny infant and swear that he came from another planet. Others are faced with this reality as their child starts to develop her unique personality. And some spend years seeing their kid as a, "chip off the old block", until one day, often during the teen years, they no longer recognize their so-called "mini me".    

Whenever this moment happens in your life, stop and pay attention. Really look at your child and recognize him for who he is. This may be the single most important thing you ever do as a parent. How much better would the world be if every parent really "saw" their child and then recognized, accepted, and loved that person?   

Many parents hope that their offspring will turn out to be just like them, or better yet, an upgraded version that they can live vicariously through. They expect this child to fulfill all the dreams that they failed to achieve. This is a sure-fire way to destroy your child. My advice... don't do it! If you have dreams, get off your butt and make them happen! Let your kid find his own dream and then do everything in your power to support it.   

What a waste of time it is to wish for a football star when you have a ballet dancer! Why force your bookworm to be the "life of the party"? And who really wants to go to a doctor who harbors dreams of being an artist?  

So stop pining over your "dream" child and start embracing your real child. We don't always have to understand our kids, we don't even have to agree with their choices, but we do need to accept their individuality. If we, as parents, can't love them for who they are, then how can we expect them to love themselves. We can't, so save your kids some therapy and a lot of heartache, and just look at them!

When in Doubt, Build a Fort

One of my fondest childhood pastimes involved making forts with my siblings. In an instant, we could be transported to any time, any place, and be ready for any adventure. My sister's bed could be easily transformed into the perfect fort. My Dad and grandfather had built her bed into the wall, so it basically looked like a big picture window. We would hide inside and tuck blankets into the frame of the bed. We would always be accompanied by various stuffed animals, and possibly one or two of our cats if we could snag them. For hours, our imaginations would run wild in our special little cave.

This weekend, my kids got to have their own fort experience. They are lucky enough to have bunk beds at my Mom's house, so the fort-making possibilities are endless! I closed off the bottom bunk with blankets, figuring that they would cozy up together. Of course, this did not suffice. They wanted a fort in the top bunk as well, so I had to get a little more creative.

An engineer, I am not, so the end result was not exactly pretty. But it's amazing what you can do with an extra blanket and a staple gun! Watching my kids play brought me right back to my childhood. Immediately their imaginations kicked in, while they enjoyed their bunk-bed picnic.

Sometimes we forget that the simplest experiences are often the most memorable. So when your kids get antsy, just throw a few pillows and blankets their way. The act of creating a sacred space is an experience that will last a lifetime!

Don't Fold my Undies!

As a teenager, my brother used to tease me about my culinary ineptitude. He figured that once I left home, my survival would depend greatly on my access to cereal and milk. But fast forward a decade later, and it turns out that I'm quite the domestic goddess! I cook, bake, wash dishes, clean floors, scrub toilets, make beds... And surprisingly, I genuinely enjoy these tasks. Well, perhaps the toilet scrubbing leaves a bit to be desired, but you get my point.

There is one domestic skill, however, that continues to elude me... folding laundry. My husband has a passionate distaste for the way I handle his "unmentionables". To be honest, his disdain for my folding technique, or lack thereof, extends to each and every article of clothing.

But in my defense, my husband folds laundry like an old Filipino woman! Literally, he was taught this skill by his stepmother's mother, Lola. To make matters even worse, he hangs laundry like an old Greek woman! Once again, literally, he was taught the art of hanging laundry by his Greek grandmother, Yia Yia.

Now, I have to imagine that his technique is a slightly watered down version of what these women are capable of. But based on his aptitude, I can only guess that these two women are laundry masters! If doing laundry was an Olympic sport, they would be fighting head to head for the gold. They’re like silk samurai, or nylon ninjas, maybe even, textile Titans!

The truth is… I never stood a chance.

I have to sigh as I watch my husband, so carefully and mindfully, folding our kids cartoon underoos into little origami masterpieces. He goes to great lengths to get the perfect crease down our stained and threadbare pajama pants. He even hangs our laundry inside-out with the precision of a great artist.

I have a hard time admitting when I’m not the best at something. Even when I’m clearly outmatched, my Aries fire will blaze with confidence. But in this particular circumstance, I will humbly admit defeat.

I will hand over our detergent, fabric softener, clothespins, and plastic basket. My husband has truly earned the honor of laundry master. But as we all know, with great power comes great responsibility,

"So Honey, please don't forget to handwash my unmentionables!"

Purple Dress

My son can be whiny, ornery, demanding, and inflexible, but his depth of emotion never ceases to amaze me. At the tender age of six, he has proven to be a hopeless romantic! He had a short but sweet love affair with a girl in his class. Despite his myriad of complaints regarding his Kindergarten experience, he found this one little girl to be quite the silver lining. But as luck would have it, the love of his life had to move to Texas!

On her last day of school, my son decided to bring her a parting gift from his toy collection. After much deliberation, he settled on a wind-up lady bug that did flips. He figured that she would like this, since she had been a bumble bee for Halloween, obviously, she was cool with insects. He was clearly bummed about her leaving, but also very excited to give her something to remember him by.

When I picked him up from school, I was anxious to see how she liked her gift. I immediately asked him, "How did it go? Did she like it?".

And he said, "I couldn't give it to her, because she wasn't there. I guess yesterday was her last day!"

What a heartbreak! This was his moment and he missed out by one stinking day!

It's been about 2 months since he's seen his sweet baboo, but he hasn't forgotten her yet. He'll drop her name into conversations, and periodically say, "Do you know who I still miss?" Every time he makes mention of her, I feel warm and fuzzy. Two months is a long time for a kid, so the fact that he's still thinking of her speaks volumes!

But today, his sweetness reached new heights! He spent the morning drawing with his sister; I assumed he was drawing the usual... monsters (of every possible variety) or star wars characters. Instead he ran into the room to show my Mom and I this...

Here they are holding hands! His sweetheart is even wearing her signature purple dress that she wore on picture day, and he is rockin' his "creature from the black lagoon" t-shirt. He also carefully colored in her crystal bindi and a smiley-faced sun. I assume the snow is simply an appreciation of today's snow day.

I should also mention that there is another version of this picture, but he refused to show it to me. I'll admit, however, that I got a very quick peek of the "secret version" and I noticed that he had drawn several hearts over each of their heads! He may have been too embarrassed to show me, but he wasn't too embarrassed to draw them, which is adorable on so many levels!

So there you have it, my son is a more romantic and committed partner, at the age of six, than many of the so-called "men" in the world. I would say he gets this all from me, but I must give credit where credit is due. His Daddy has shown him that it's okay to shed a "manly" tear from time to time, and that real men aren't afraid to give their heart to the right woman. The world needs more of these men; I am eternally grateful to be adding one to the population. 

Hot Lunch

As I mentioned in an earlier post, the first month or so of Kindergarten was pretty rough for my son. But by November, I felt like we had turned a corner. He was no longer clinging for dear life when I dropped him off in the morning and he managed to keep the afternoon meltdowns to a minimum. So when his principal walked up to me after school and gently pulled me aside, I felt my stomach sink. Here we go again!

In his concerned voice he said, "I just thought you should know, that your son has been eating lunch alone."

So I think to myself, "Crap!" But I say, "Well, he's kind of introverted, maybe he just needs a little time to himself during the middle of the day." These words are true, but I still feel myself internally freaking at the thought of my son being socially ostracized at the age of six. The principal suggests that I start a dialogue with him and offers me parenting pointers, blah, blah, blah. It's not that I can't appreciate advice, but I get a little defensive when somebody acts like they know more about my kid than I do.

Anyway, I don't bring it up right away, because I know my son needs major decompression time after a day in the trenches. I mention the issue to my husband and his response pretty much mirrors mine, "Crap!". So at dinner I finally ask, "What's the deal with you eating lunch alone?"

His response goes something like this, "Well, I usually sit with these two kids, but they had hot lunch today and there were all these other hot lunch kids..."

I quickly interrupt him and say, "Wait, are you sitting by yourself, because you don't like the smell of the hot lunch?!"

And he says, "Yeah, I don't want to sit by that, it's DISGUSTING! I'll sit with somebody if they have cold lunch, but if they have hot lunch, I'll sit by myself!"

Ahhh, now it all makes sense! The poor kid can barely eat at our dinner table, because his sister's eating habits regularly set off his gag reflex. Why didn't I realize this sooner?

So the next morning, I proudly march up to the principal and explain that my son is not a social reject, he's simply repulsed by the cafeteria offerings.

So yes, my son may be freakishly sensitive, but at least he's confident enough to pull up a chair at his very own table. I'll take that any day of the week!

Best Seat in the House

 My grandmother has a sign in her kitchen that reads,

"No matter where I serve my guests, it seems they like my kitchen best."

I've always loved that sign, and now that I have my own kitchen, I find myself appreciating that statement even more. Above is our kitchen, which happens to be my favorite room in the house. It seems like many people are moving further and further away from this sacred space. After-school activities, fast food, and too much work have forced many of us out of the "best seat in the house".

This fact is unsettling at best. Great peace can be found stirring a pot of soup, or washing dishes (by hand!), and most of all, by sharing meals with family. We need to reclaim this space in order to maintain balance in our lives.

Two days ago, we gathered around the table to enjoy my husband's waffles for breakfast. Later that evening, we pulled up two extra chairs for my parents during dinner. This afternoon, my kids and I painted masterpieces at that very same table.

So, when you find yourself stressed-out, overworked, and under-nourished, do yourself a favor.... Grab yourself a spot at the kitchen table. Is it, after all, the best seat in the house!

Snow Day!

Anticipation, growing, growing
Can't wait to see if it's snowing, snowing
Look out the window, turn on the news
Will we be jumping for joy,
Or singing the blues?

Fingers crossed, silent prayer
Yes, we're off!
Sometimes life is fair!

Now I'm all grown
Have kids of my own
The jitters still appear
When the snow gets near

Will schools close down?
Perhaps, but maybe not our town
Hold my breath, as I did back then
Hoping "us" kids can stay home again!

Dirty Job!

I've never watched that show, "Dirty Jobs", but I'm almost certain that being a mother to my daughter could land me a prime spot on the program. This particular photo was taken after she took a marker to her face, hands, feet, and belly. I think the project started when she decided that she wanted to be a cat. I remember her saying something about needing whiskers and then things escalated from there.

She has a habit of "mentioning" things in passing, like, "Mom, I'm just gonna go do this..." If she senses the slightest bit of permission on my part, she's off and running! In other words, she's going to move forward with her crazy plan, unless I dive in and put a whole-hearted kibosh on the whole thing. Saying, "Honey, I don't think that's such a great idea", means nothing to my child.

This sort of behavior drives my husband to insanity; her "creative spontaneity" upsets all of his sensibilities. He's neat, orderly, and practical. She is messy, chaotic, and imaginative! Thankfully, his exasperation is tempered by his complete and utter adoration of this messy, little creature. He showers her with kisses and "I Love You's" in between phrases like this...

"Child, why would you do something like that?!"
"What made you possibly think that was a good idea?!"
"YOU ARE GOING TO GET HURT!"
"You're going to put me into an early grave!"
"My ticker can't take this!"
"I don't understand you!"

And of course, my personal fave...

"YOU ARE JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER!"

It makes me chuckle every time!

Half Fun

I've always been intrigued by personalities, especially within the family dynamic. My son is basically my polar opposite. I tend to be optimistic and am always exploring endless possibilities. My son, on the other hand, is a bit more pessimistic and enjoys pointing out the flaws in any given situation.

For example, after we've spent time doing something that I know my son enjoys, I'll ask him, "So, did you have a good time?". Despite the fact that I've watched him laugh and smile throughout the entire activity or outing, he will almost always answer with something like this...

"Well, I had a little fun."
Or, "Not too much fun."
Or, my personal favorite, "Half fun."

Those two simple words, "half fun", truly encapsulate my son's personality; he is definitely a "glass half empty" kind of kid. Strangely enough, I actually find his personality quite refreshing. Most people would find such a temperament frustrating or annoying, but usually I'm simply entertained by his curmudgeon-ness. He doesn't put on a show, or smile when he's sad; he feels how he feels, without excuses. Obviously, it's helpful to, "look on the bright side", but sometimes it's just as important to acknowledge feelings of disappointment or sadness.

So, when my son makes a point of mentioning everything Santa failed to bring, or when he admits that his birthday cake was, "not too great", at least I know he's being honest, which is really the only "golden rule" in our household.

The way I see it, our kids enter this world with their own thoughts, feelings, and personalities; our job is simply to recognize who that person is. So if my son is just, "half fun", than that's "all good" with me!

The Days are Long...

You'll often hear people say that when you have kids, "The days are long, but the years are short." This fact upsets me on a regular basis. I don't want to be stumbling my way through my kids' childhood and then wake up one morning and have it be over! But the truth is, that when you're a parent to young children, the days do feel long sometimes. We all have an internal well that eventually gets depleted, some days I feel done before 9:00 A.M. This exhaustion seems somewhat inevitable when you hear things like this all day...

"Mommy, I need a snack."
"Mommy, I'm thirsty."
"Mommy, he hit me!
"Mommy, she hit me!"
"Mommy, wipe my bottom!"
"Mommy, I spilled something."
"I don't have to go to potty!"
"I wet my pants."
"I won't wear my coat!"
"My socks hurt."
"I'm not tired!"
"I'm too tired!"

It's also draining to say things like this all day...

"Did you go potty?, Did you go potty?, Did you go potty?!"
"Brush your teeth, Brush your teeth, Brush you teeth!"
“Put on your coat, Put on your coat, Put on your coat!”
“It's time to go, It's time to go, It's time to go!”
“Get in your seat, “Get in your seat, “Get in your seat!”
"Stop your feet, Stop your feet, Stop your feet!"
"No more fighting, No more fighting, No more fighting!"
"You're going to fall, You're going to fall, You're going to fall!"
"It's time for bed, It's time for bed, It's time for bed!"

We don't want to sound like broken records, but we do! We don't want to nag, but we must! We don't want to rush, but we're always late! Some days, no matter how hard we strive, we just can't get everyone moving in the same direction. Finding the balance between letting your kids be kids, and keeping the chaos from reaching dangerous levels is no small task.

So, when I feel guilty about getting stressed out, or when I worry that they days are slipping by too fast, I stop myself. I take a breath and say...

"You're only human, you're doing your best, you love your kids, you are eternally grateful, but sometimes you just need to scream, and that's okay."

Sometimes this actually works.

Warrior Woman

The woman you see in this picture is my Warrior Woman. She may look cute, standing there with all those sheep (actually, they're all in the process of running away from her!). They're probably fleeing, because they sense that they are in the presence of a fierce lioness ready to pounce at any moment! This Warrior Woman/lioness goes by another name as well... I like to call her Mom.

This picture holds great significance, because it was taken in Scotland. My Mom has always had an intense fear of flying, but after getting a serious health diagnosis, my sister and I decided to hijack her to a foreign land. Warrior Women don't give up, they don't accept defeat, and they don't succumb to fear. Warrior Women believe in something greater, so off we flew!

We all need a Warrior Woman in our life, or better yet, many Warrior Women. I am blessed to be born to one and a sister to another; I've also found WW friends throughout my life, but many women are not that fortunate. If you don't have one of these women in your life, you need to go get one....NOW! There is no time to waste.

In case you don't know what to look for, I have included a checklist....

1. A Warrior Woman knows her purpose and lives this purpose without excuses, or actively seeks purpose when her path is unclear.

2. A Warrior Woman is loving and compassionate.

3. A Warrior Woman challenges herself and others.

4. A Warrior Woman says "NO".

5. A Warrior Woman breathes passion.

6. A Warrior Woman stands tall.

7. A Warrior Woman has faith.

8. A Warrior Woman emanates light and hope.

9. A Warrior Woman fights oppression.

10. A Warrior Woman stands up to fear, and says "Go Away!"

Women have power and potential greater than we let ourselves believe. We hold back, and for what? Who do we benefit when we hide ourselves from the world? What do we offer the Universe when we hold our talents, passions, and ideas for ransom? The answer is nothing. We offer the world nothing.

So go find your Warrior Woman, and in the process, become your own Warrior Woman. Only when we start freely bestowing our gifts, will our world know peace.

I Love You Mom!

The Joys of Puking..., I Mean, Parenting!

I wrote this some time last year, but I thought I should include this story in my blog. It's something all parents can empathize with. Enjoy!

There’s nothing like a puking child to bring you into the present moment. My day started very early this morning, in fact, it actually started last night around 11:00 P.M. My head had literally just hit the pillow when my daughter meanders into our room. She climbs into bed, tosses and turns a few times, and then proceeds to vomit all over our bed.

Despite the shared fatigue between my husband and me, we quickly go into what I like to call, “puke mode”.  Any parent will know exactly what this means. Basically, you shake off whatever state of sleep you were in, or were about to enter into, and go through a series of robotic movements throughout the house. You only have to experience one bout of gastrointestinal distress within your household to become an expert in the readiness plan. My husband goes to work stripping the bed and fumbling around for a clean sheet. I grab my daughter, strip off her pukey pajamas, and prepare the bath.

Once she’s been hosed down, we attempt bedtime again. Together we crawl into her toddler bed, and all she wants to do is rub her little face all over mine. Now, I love my children more than anything in this world; their well-being is the most important thing in my life. That being said, I still don’t fancy the idea of being puked on in the face. I want to cuddle her and offer her any bit of support she needs, but I find myself strategically positioning my head in hopes of avoiding a vomit bath.

As I imagined, the tossing and turning continues, so I go to plan B. Plan B pretty much means throwing all the rules out the window and giving my kids anything they want.  Vomiting equals cart-blanche in our household, so we’re off to the couch to watch copious amounts of cartoons. Within a few minutes my little girl is throwing up again, so I reenter robotic mode. I pull out my carpet cleaner and start shampooing the couch and area rug. I place towels all over the couch and proceed to do about 3 loads of laundry. I also realize that the only drinks I have to offer my daughter are water, milk, and coffee. I know that water isn’t the best drink during these times, but it wins out over the latter choices. Unfortunately, one sip of water turns into about a gallon of watery vomit. So after a couple more failed attempts at hydration, I decide that a trip to the pharmacy is in my future. There are very few things that would send me out in the rain in the middle of the night, but Pedialite happens to make the list.

Before walking out the door, I change out of my pajamas and into clothes that pretty much look exactly like pajamas. I glance in the mirror and see that my fiery hair is looking particularly insane at the moment, but I can’t muster the energy to tame it. Instead I make a pathetic attempt to smear some lip gloss on before leaving the house.  I decide that I still look like an escaped mental patient, but I doubt that I will run into any familiar faces at 2:00 A.M.

Well, I’m wrong! The person working at the register is a professional acquaintance of mine. He’s sweet and understanding, being that he is a parent of a young child himself, but still, I can’t wait to get my wild-maned, poorly dressed, pasty face out of there!

My daughter is very happy to have me home, but adamant that she will not drink that nasty swill I had the nerve to bring through the door.  After eight vomiting bouts and hours of cartoons, we drift off to sleep around 4:30 A.M.

My son is up at 6:30 A.M.

Parenting…. Definitely not for the faint of heart.

Don't be a Jerk!

Most parents have an image in their head of what they hope their children will achieve some day. They believe that these accomplishments are somehow a reflection of their parental expertise. Like, if their child grows up to be a doctor or a lawyer, they've clearly done a great job. If their kid owns a big house and drives a BMW, well, they've obviously excelled in the parenting department.

Personally, I'll feel like I've fulfilled my motherly duties if my kids don't grow up to be giant jerks! In this particular context, a jerk can be described as such…

 

a : an annoyingly stupid or foolish person

b : an unlikable person; especially : one who is cruel, rude, or small-minded

Now, no one is perfect, right? We all have the occasional jerk-ish moment; when we say the wrong thing, or mindlessly cut someone off, or forget an important date. These blunders are forgivable; we’re all human and are, therefore, prone to stupidity at times. These are not the people I’m referring to. I’m referring to the jackass who regularly slams doors in their fellow man’s face. The guy who always drives in the shoulder to avoid traffic and then quickly cuts back into the lane without signaling. Or the charming individual who lies, cheats, and hurts others without a second thought. These are the jerks!

My kids might whine, they might scream, they might even hit each other at times, but for the most part they’re pretty awesome. I’ve had moments when I’ve been mortified or completely outraged by their behavior, but then I tell them that they’re out of line. I don’t call them little jerks, even if I am thinking it, but it’s my job to set them straight. How else can any of us learn compassion, empathy, and kindness?

So when my daughter runs for a Band-Aid after my husband hits his head, or when my son holds the door for half of the elementary school, I take a moment to appreciate their goodness. If they can continue to embrace these qualities, I will know that I’ve done alright.  

Hot for Teacher

So, the first month of Kindergarten was pretty rough for our son, actually it sucked for the whole family. He basically hated everything about it; the size of the school, the kids, the playground, the homework, the long days, and most of all, his teacher.

In fact the only good thing about Kindergarten was one little girl, who he promptly fell in love with. Of course, he wouldn't say so directly, but he let on in other ways. Her name would be frequently slipped into conversation and he would mention how she chased him on the playground; that little vixen! He even remembered every last detail of her picture-day look; from her long hair worn down, to her beautiful purple dress, and most importantly, her fancy, crystal bindi. As luck would have it, the love of his life moved to Texas a few weeks into the school year. Figures!

Despite this unfortunate turn of events, little by little things started to turn around. After a while, the school began to feel a little smaller, the kids became more familiar, the playground got fun, the homework got easier, the days still felt long, yet manageable, and the teacher...

Well, let's just say, that today my son asked to make his teacher a card after school. He drew a picture of himself inside, which was basically just a floating head, that closely resembled a skull. Next to his "head" was a heart. He then asked me how to write this...
"I love you Mrs. C. From your bonkers friend."

Kids, they really do say the darnedest things!

So the moral of this story is this... don't jump to conclusions, what your child hates one day, they can love the next. Parenting not only requires a never-ending well of patience, it also requires a great deal of flexibility. So let them feel what they need to feel from moment to moment; honor their emotions, be sensitive and present, and then let it go. Sometimes we need to fix things, but most of the time, we just have to be their soft spot to fall.

TV... friend or foe?

Well, I’m going to step out on a limb here and say, “friend, definitely, friend!” The television debate is often a hot one, especially when you’re dealing with kids. Some parents have very strict rules about television consumption; basically, fearing that it will rot your brain and such. I, however, take a more balanced approach to the old boob tube. I mean, sometimes you just need a little Scooby Doo to get you through, or some Ben 10, again and again.  A bit of Dora… no, not Dora, never Dora! 

Now let me clarify… I certainly don’t condone plopping your kids in front of the set for hours on end, but in moderation, it can be quite therapeutic for the whole family.  Sometimes parents have to get things done, or maybe they just need a little “time out”. Scooby Doo has certainly gotten me through many such times.

When you make something taboo it becomes that much more desirable. So don’t treat the TV as your enemy; just be mindful about how you use it. For example, my father-in-law took my husband to see the movie, Predator, when he was 6-years-old; this would be the opposite of mindful. Luckily, you can make a better choice.

By demonizing the television completely, you may inadvertently be making the attraction greater. So, let’s stop comparing ourselves to one another based on our television preferences.  Being a good parent has to do with a lot more than whether or not we partake in some TV time. The bottom line is this… if a movie here and there produces a more sane parent, then everyone wins!

Scooby Dooby Doo!

Walk in the Woods.

I planned on going to the gym this morning after dropping my kids off at school. I hate the gym; the meatheads, the fake boobs, the awful club music, and the sweaty machines. But, I do appreciate the time to myself and the cardio-vascular benefit. Anyway, while on route to the gym, I decided to change course. It's freezing out, but I thought the fresh air would do me good. I parked my car at home and opted for a walk in the elements. I popped my headphones in and turned on my trusty IPOD, which promptly died on me, great!

I contemplated going in the house, charging my IPOD and walking later, but I already had momentum going, so I forged ahead, sans music, with only the thoughts in my head to entertain me. As I was mentally mapping out my course, I reached the end of the road and realized that I could walk in the woods. I am fortunate enough to live a block away from some great hiking trails, but somehow I always lose sight of this. I guess it's because I grew up in Central Jersey, which meant little time spent in the woods.

The moment I stepped onto the trail, I felt my body calm and my mental chatter quiet. In fact everything was quiet, except for the sound of a pileated woodpecker. I don't know much about birds, but my Mom is passionate about them, so I've picked up a little knowledge. A pileated woodpecker looks just like Woody Woodpecker, you know, black and white body with a red head. It's an amazing sound to hear their beak against a tree, because it echoes through the entire woods; you can’t help but marvel at that.

As I hiked along the trail, I became acutely aware of each step, each sight and sound. When you have kids you often feel like you're flying from place to place, never completing a thought or cup of coffee, for that matter. It was a real treat to be completely unencumbered for a little while; this time in the woods was just what I needed.

Before heading back onto the street, I turned around to get one last look at the woods. I was surprised to see the sun beaming back at me, since the morning had been so cloudy. I took this as a sign that I had made a mindful decision today. As soon as I started walking down the road, I felt thoughts begin to pour back into my head. I attempted to push them away, but they persevered. Somehow it was much easier to stay in the moment and tame my "monkey mind" while I was in nature. Sometimes you need wander in order to find clarity; I think we could all benefit from getting“lost” in the woods from time to time.
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Ode to Pizza!

I'm having a hard time getting inspired to write today, because all I can think about is pizza! It has been six whole days, since I've eaten sugar or white flour, and let me tell you... this is no small feat! I love to cook and I know quite a bit about nutrition, so I don't eat crap, but I really miss the cheesy goodness of my home-made pizza. So, I want to share my recipe with you, because there's no need for everyone to suffer. Here it is....

Ingredients:

• Pizza dough (you can make your own or buy it pre-made at a grocery store. I highly recommend the multi-grain pizza dough from Whole Foods)
• Sauce (again you can make your own or buy your favorite brand)
• Peppers (any color)
• Onions
• Garlic
• Sausage (My favorite is sweet apple chicken sausage, al fresco is the best brand I've had)
• Fresh mozzarella cheese
• Grated Parmesan cheese
• Good Olive Oil

Directions:

Set oven to 450 degrees. Roll out the dough and place on a baking sheet or pizza stone. Spread a thin layer of olive oil over the dough. Next, top with sauce, onions, peppers, garlic, and sausage. Then top with slices of fresh mozzarella and finish with a sprinkle of parmesan cheese. Bake for about 20 minutes or until cheese gets browned and bubbly. Enjoy!

Oh, sweet pizza, how I miss you so. Thankfully, this torture I'm putting myself through is only temporary!

Leave me Alone

Mothers today seem obsessed with keeping their children entertained and socialized at every moment. I haven't traveled enough to prove this, but it seems most common among American mothers. I have certainly found myself in this trap; feeling as though I haven't done enough unless I've read my kids 20 books, arranged play dates, choreographed art projects, baked cookies, and stimulated them intellectually. Frankly, it's exhausting and pretty stupid, as far as I'm concerned.

When I was a kid, my Mom was too busy for all of that nonsense. Yes, we baked, read, and played with our friends, but it was flexible and spontaneous! Most of the time, my siblings and I simply used our imaginations. We made forts, played with blocks, fought imaginary wars, and played endless tag games with the neighborhood kids. Lately, it feels like we barely have neighborhoods; I know my kids don't have any friends on our block, it sucks!

The point is, we entertained ourselves. No one was breathing down our neck to scrutinize whether or not we surpassed our one hour of allotted television time. We colored and painted, because we wanted to, not because our parents organized "craft time". We weren't bussed around to every extra-curricular activity in town; we were happier to have uninterrupted play time at home. As we got older, we were all involved in various sports, music, theater etc., but it was our choice; we decided how scheduled our days would be.

Today parents are so concerned with doing everything "right" that we wind up robbing our kids of important childhood lessons. A large part of childhood involves getting bored. When you get bored, you get creative. Most kids will find something to do, if you simply give them a chance to figure it out. This is a very important life skill; we all need to learn what drives us, what makes us happy, and where our passions lie. If we get shuttled from activity to activity, day in and day out, we never have an opportunity to just "be". We then grow up having no clue who we are or what we want. We have to rely on other people to fulfill us, because we don’t know how to be comfortable in our own company. It’s frightening to think that we might be raising an entire generation obsessed with external stimulation.

The other morning, I was busy doing my daily tasks in the kitchen. You know… dishes, breakfast, sweeping, that sort of thing. Doing these chores gives me a sense of balance and keeps our household functioning, so I have to allow time for them every day. My kids know that they can't have my undivided attention constantly, so they start getting creative. Within a few minutes, my daughter had moved chairs, stools, and blankets into the center of the room. I swept around them and listened to their conversation. Apparently, they were hiding in some sort of fort and my son had just saved his little sister from the boiling lava. Once they tired of that game, they moved to the living room and started coloring. My daughter was drawing monsters, which are her big brother's favorite thing! And my son was drawing a giant red heart for his sister. Pretty heart-warming stuff!

Later that day, we went for a walk in the snow around our favorite orchard. My son marveled at the animal tracks and my daughter happily forged ahead with a giant stick. Once we got to the end of our walk, I just let them do their own thing. My daughter found a bunch of sticks, piled them on top of each other, and made a "fire". My son found a stick and drew monsters and gravestones in the snow. That may sound a little morbid to some of you, but it's very normal in our household. At the age of two, he found a decorative skeleton for his Halloween-themed party, and wound up carrying it around the whole day. He's basically had a penchant for the macabre every since.

In a nutshell, they had fun! And I had fun, because I wasn't struggling to plan every moment of their day. The fact is, we all need space to breathe, so lay off the mommy-guilt! You're doing your kids a favor by letting them figure a few things out by themselves. You'll also be doing yourself a favor, because you need that time just as much as they do. My uncle told me once to, "Leave some room in your day for serendipity.". This, I believe, is a piece of advice worth taking.